What my mother told me when I became a mom
Talk to any mom and she’ll tell you becoming a parent changed her life completely. As one mother we spoke to said, “Becoming a mom made me a student all over again; I learned so much from my kids. I think they also made me a better person.&rdquo Another driven professional who had her first child in her mid-30s said, I’ve forgotten what a restful weekend feels like. But I’ve learned love like I never knew I could love.” While having children can be life changing, it would have been a tougher journey had it not been for the rock like support our mothers gave us when we first became mothers. Nykaa spoke to a few supermoms about the advice they received from their moms and gave to their daughters.
When I first became a grandmother I asked Mitali to be thankful to the Almighty for blessing her with healthy children. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed in the early months what with sleepless nights, feeds and diaper changes. So I told her—what my late mother had once said—change is constant, and it’s important to enjoy the moment no matter how chaotic because that too will pass. I told her that she had an enormous responsibility towards her children and would have to learn to face all the minor inconveniences and discomforts and enjoy motherhood to its fullest. My mother used to tell me that being a good mother wasn’t easy but it was the biggest achievement for a woman. I have always remembered her advice and to this day, I face all the twists and turns of life with a smile.
I was very young when I had my daughters, Gayatri and Divya. My mother drilled it into me that it was up to me to be a good role model for my girls. She said that it was my foremost responsibility to be the person I wanted them to grow up to become. Children learn by example, and I’ve always tried to be patient, compassionate and methodical, qualities that both my girls have imbibed well. I am delighted to say that they have grown up to emotionally well adjusted, balanced and sensible human beings. My own mother has always been my closest confidante and today my girls and I have a similar relationship. They share everything with me even today.
Often when I talk to my daughter, I can hear my mom because she said the very same things to me! From the start I told Simran to breastfeed her babies for as long as possible. I also told her to spend as much time as she could with them because what a mom can do for her kids, no maid can. I read to my own kids, made puzzles with them, took them to the park, helped them with their homework and taught them to be polite to elders. I am so happy that Simran does all this and more with her children as well. I have also told her never to hit her children. Love and consistent firmness is all they need. Simran is so engrossed in her babies that she often doesn’t even have time to talk to me!
I have always believed that a mother plays an invaluable role in instilling the right values in her children. From the time Nafeesa was a baby, I have tried to lead by example. As a child Nafeesa followed a routine, went to bed at the same time daily, was allowed a fixed television viewing time and went down to play every day. I am happy to see that my granddaughter Zaina is also being brought up in the same way. She is a happy, well-adjusted child and a delight to be around.
Full-time mother and part-time charted accountant Smita Modak offers advice to daughters who are now mothers