As a single woman, it’s easy to get caught in a web of bleak thoughts especially during a time when streaming giants display sensationalized content that push the concept that you aren’t truly “whole” until you’ve found your man. Also a woman without a boyfriend, partner or ‘lovah’ is traditionally presented as fragmentary, under-construction or incomplete that eventually leads to what we call the average Indian aunty’s climactic dialogue,"Beta you don't have anyone right now? Oho, Poor thing”. Thanks Aunty. Well, as much as the facts of being single hover around rigid stigmas of aching loneliness, they are most often far from the truth. So, if you’re single and reading this, let’s just say that this is probably the validation that you never asked for. Or did you?
Now, as a self-proclaimed (and PROUD) singleton in the 21st century, I’ve finally landed the road to celebrate the reality of being single and not fret. Embrace and not brood. A light at the end of the tunnel, if I may say so. Because I have me. With due respect to the ones committed, this one’s exclusively for the single ladies. I urge you to join me in celebrating the bright side of singlehood and why you are going to be more than just okay, girlfriend. .
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1. But You Can’t Bill Me For Anxiety
Relationships can drain your brain wallet. Read that again. Even though much of this happens unconsciously, this sort of stress can hinder one’s happiness by blocking them from living in the moment. The distress most often leads to stress eating, booking expensive therapy sessions, spas or even splurging on feel-good outfits or lingerie that ultimately leads to buyer’s remorse. Not worth the cost of your mental health. Could you have avoided all that and more if you were single and saved all that money and peace of mind for a rainy day? Possibly yes. Think about it.
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2. Sorry, I don’t share
So here’s where the constraints of having a partner does not apply to you. Your life suddenly becomes totally and completely your own. There’s nobody hindering you from setting out to chase your ambitions. Make mistakes, fall, get yourself right back up and keep moving forward. “I love being single. Everything becomes completely mine - my work, my free time, my lifestyle and my habits”, shares Aarohi Roy - Beauty Book Editor . Rightfully so. You’re more likely to take risks and have adventures and more novelty within the journey that you can call your own. No questions asked. Be your own final interpreter. Isn’t that what life is all about?
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3. The Art Of Solitude
When you’re single there’s more room for creativity. Does it drop significantly when in a relationship? Most often, no. However for the average human, it’s hard to balance the two. Use this time to pursue your passions, whether they come with monetary rewards or not. Immerse yourself in the process and to hell with the consequences. When there’s two opinions carving your road to discovery, you might end up doing something that’s not yours. When was the last time you did something that YOU wanted to do? Paint that picture, girl. You choose the colors.
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4. Privacy breeds self-reflection
When you’re alone, there’s a strength that was destined to be there. We tend to sometimes rely on our partners for a lot more than what we need to. Being single provides an opportunity to tap into one’s inner strengths, which in turn can actually manifest in a greater level of confidence and build self worth. Absolute solitude is almost impossible when you’re in a partnership. You will always have our partner in our thoughts. Feeling fat? Your problem. Feeling too thin? Your problem. Your body, mind and soul should be yours to control and build. Not his.
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5. The Price Of Love
Oh, money money money. When finances get into the picture when you’re dating, it can get dirty. When you’re single and don’t share expenses with someone else, you push yourself to advance and to be resourceful because you’re not relying on someone else to cover your costs. You’re not obligated to buy him that valentine’s gift or spend on that dinner with his friends — instead get something for yourself. There’s no one defining how you consciously or subconsciously spend your hard earned money. You worked for that dough. Oh, puh-lease.
From one single individual to another, I would like to conclude by sharing something that’s helped me. Today, I ask you to try something I learnt from American Journalist and broadcaster Robin Roberts. The Wonder Woman Pose. Don’t be afraid to get comical for this one. So, stand tall with your hands on your hips, head high and feel the invisible cape flowing at the back of your head and tell yourself you're a hero. A winner. You’re enough. it's liberating. No really try it. It changed my mornings. Ladies, the secret to getting ahead in life, is getting started. Because at the end of the day, you have the time and the ability to focus on the one consistent factor that will create the change you’re seeking– and that’s you.
